Breathing through the manic

Well.  I don't know about you but I am really trying to remember to breathe through the mayhem.

There just seems to be so much to do, and get done and wrapped up.  I always feel that I need an extra week at this time of year.  This year though, I am determined to do things a bit differently.

Although there is alot to get done, partly because I set myself grandiose home-made gifts, I am going to let myself off by the weekend.  Once the kids have finished school, then I am going to glide into Christmas.  Honest.

And in the meantime, this week, I will also be remembering to breathe, deeply and slowly.

How is your run up to Christmas going?

Inspiring 2013 comin' your way!

Oh my goodly goodness Leonie Dawson has unleashed this next years workbook & planner.  I have printed off my copy already.  So utterly excited and inspired.  And this year I have printed it out in full glorious colour, because I am worth it, dammit!  Oh it looks so inviting.

For the first time, this year she has also done a business version, with specific focus on creating and expanding your own glorious biz. 

I think I am equally in love with both!  The life edition has greater focus on personal stuff, although there is some personal in the biz edition, since lets face it, if you are your business then it needs to contain all of you in a good & healthy way.

Haha, and double excitement, on checking out that my affiliate link is working, I discover that I am on her page with testimonial.  I think I may have actually squealed out loud, but luckily I was alone at the time.

What I love about Leonie's workbook, is the way you focus on the coming year in a deep, expanded spiritual way, but with action steps and planning too.  It comes with a lovely calendar that you can use to plug your dreams straight into.  I use my own calendar because I like my own one, but what I do love about Leonie's is lovely little offerings in some of the days.  Like, today is love yourself day and sweet drawings & pictures.  Like all of Leonie's stuff, it is a visual feast that lifts me every time I go to it.

If you have been thinking about trying out some of Leonie's glorious offerings, then this is a really well priced entry point.  And something you can enjoy all through 2013.

If you decide to get yourself some of this loveliness, I would be girl-crushingly grateful if you could use this link.  Thank you scrummy one!

Click here to get your inspiring 2013

What are your big dreams for 2013?

Jaci x

Thankful Thursday. 1st November 2012

Today I am grateful for

• An easygoing gentle halfterm
• Happy Ever Arter on the full moon with some of my Best-ies
• Helping run the craft session at the community cafe.
• Watching my 3 shades of blonds feeding the ducks with a bag of duck-grain.  Bini got much braver than usual and actually took to stroking the larger white one & was besotted with how soft it was.  Wish I'd remembered my camera.
• A night out at this talk last night.
• A really lovely connection with a beautiful soul at the talk.
• A weekend of Brothers.  Hanging out with G & D with assorted womenfolk and children's.  So lovely to spend time with them.
• Playing a riotous game of Pit with my brothers.
• Lots of lovely logs.  Thanks Mum!
• Getting my studio cleaned up.  Ready to get gloriously messy again!

Darkening changes

This coming wednesday is Samhein.  Which I think is the beginning of the celtic new year.  

So a good time to take stock and do a bit of soul searching.  As we move into the cold.  The dark.  With the clocks going back today, tonight will come early.  Will I rebel & rail against it as I often do.  Or shall I make this year a different experience.  After yesterdays sunshine, today is a grey day.  Pale grey, with a sky almost low enough to touch.  How can I make this day of change work smoothly for me and mine?  

Like yesterday, I think some outside time is the best option.  Nurturing food.  Warm soup.  Porridge.  Lighting the fire and sitting together around it.  An early night.  

Its a crazy plan but it might just work!

Sunshine at last.  Today, moved into those cold bright autumnal days where you start to get a sore throat and runny nose.   Well, maybe it was there all along and just chose today to show its pretty face.

Today though was spent with my family.  Almost all of my siblings.  Both my brothers & their assorted people were at my mothers for the weekend.  So we all got together and chopped logs.  Isn't that normal behaviour?  All together there were 15 of us.  The young lad at the chip shop couldn't quite believe that we needed that many chips!  I didn't tell him we were missing 5 who were awol abroad.

Nearly there!

Turns out its rather challenging this writing everyday lark.  I really need to work out how to schedule this into my life better.  And to ignore the distractions of emails & the book of faces.  And a world of weird on youtube.  Oh, and did I mention my kindle addiction.

Gadgetry and wizzamibobs

Oh my goodness, but we are being so thoroughly modern its making my head spin.  We seem to have suddenly catapulted ourselves into the 21st Centurary.  And we are running to catch up with our own tails.

In our attempt to not become (or to stop being, perhaps) old luddite codgers, we have both got ourselves smart, touch screen phones with cameras, a central control storage box, movies on laptop to TV, not to mention this apple macbook pro I am writing on.  Oh yes, and a won Kindle.  And we have given ourselves the added complication of mixing both PC, Apple and Android technologies.  We don't do things the easy way.  We really just hurled ourselves in at the deep end.

At the moment we both feel like we are frantically splashing around trying to find the shallow end to put our feet down and catch our breath.

I know it will get easier.  I had a similar feeling when I decided to start this blog & get to grips with the digital camera & blogging world.

And that eventually we might remember to take our portable technology with us & I will not get calls from my beloved, as I did the morning, asking me to check his phone on the side to see what appointments he had today.  But oh my he does look hot in negative effect on the new camera phone.  Think I might need to have a lie down.

Scrumping Lemons

Normally at this autumnal time of the year, it is traditional to go scrumping apples, or pears if you can find them.  Basically scrumping,  for those who don’t know the word, is nicking ripe fruit from someone else’s trees.  Usually involving a clandestine bit of hopping over fences and good old fashioned trespass.

Being the law abiding citizen that I am, I tend to err on the side of just climbing on the fence if I can reach the apple.  And now we have generous neighbours with an orchard of trees who take all the fun out of it & say pop round any time.  Although this year is an abysmal one for apples, leaving thin pickings.

However.  This autumn we have spent a week in sunnier climes.  We have just got back from a week in Cypress, visiting my sister.  Which demanded a different kind of scrumping.  Oh, yes indeed.  We got to scrump some lemons for our tea.

One very proud nearly-4 yr old with his lemon.  Yes, it looks like a lime, but its a green lemon, honest.

When I am going to bed I am going to be 4, mummy?.

Well, it finally happened.  Roo turned 4 on the weekend.  As my youngest brother put it, 'He seems to have been 3 for an inordinately long time'.  I guess we must have been saying he was almost 3 for a month or so before his birthday.

Self portrait with a bit of camera stealing!

Sunday, however, he woke up to find himself 4.  Which he was very pleased with himself about.  Sadly we were all too jaded from our red-eye trip home from Cypress to really make a big old song and dance about it.  But over the past week he got to have a cake in Cypress with cousins, Dorset with Grandparents & Auntie and next weekend another family celebration with more Grandparents and Uncles, in Hampshire.  Its all good, being an international jetsetting 4 year old!

Jus' writin'. Everyday.

It is time.  About bloody time.  I am going to just write.  For one week.  For seven days I will  write, write, write, even if it is total drivel.  AND I will hit the publish button.  Every day.  One post a day, imperfectly.  Wish me luck.

It is an interesting one, this desire for perfection.  The classic ‘what is your weakness’ in an interview question.  A stupid question if ever there was one, for which there seemed to be an expected answer.  'Oh, I can be rather perfectionist.'  Which was secretly considered a good thing.  Aha, here is someone who will really care about their work.  So I did on occasion use this on the ole CV/application form, although I never really believed that I was a perfectionist.  I was far too slapdash and disinterested in minutiae.  Which employers were less than enamored with.  (Case in point, before spellchecking these sentences, minutiae and enamored were incorrect.)

However, as I have gotten older, I have realised that I do have perfectionist tendencies.  A tendency to overplan, analyse and overthink things.  Spending far too much time in the planning stages and failing to get to the actual doing stages.  Like my imaginary blogging.  Like waiting until I have the great photo to go with that post, until I am ready, until all my ducks are in a row.  And guess what.  Those darn aquatic birds fail to line up so frequently that it never gets done.

My brother D is a great one for just doing it.  He doesn’t spend time agonizing over whether he made the right decision.  He just makes it and moves on.  Lives with it.  And gets things done.  Now, his way of living might just make me feel breathless, I need to live at a slightly slower pace I think.  

But I am willing to learn something from him.  And its probably going to be his latest ‘kick Jac’s butt’ saying of “Better Right Now than Right.”  Or as Christine Kane advocates in her Uplevel your Life program,  Take Imperfect Action.  I have even made myself a poster of that phrase.  I took that sentiment to make me start my Happy Ever Arter circle.  And it worked.  I started, adjusted and continued.  It is a whole lot easier to continue than it is to start.

One of my favourite Renaissance souls

I would like to introduce you to one of my favourite Renaissance souls, who has just started his own blog.  With a bit of persuasion from me {read nagging sister}.

Oh yes, ladies and gentlefolk, this is none other than my own sweet brother.  A true renaissance man and multi passionate creator.  His latest post on his foray into cravat making really made me laugh.

G Rex

And yes, I do believe he did actually make that hat himself.  A multi-talented man who is also a scientist and a gardener.  Check him out!

Allotment love time

This weekend I finally made it down to the allotment.  oh boy, does it ever look neglected.  I need a strong man down there to tame the grass & weeds.  :)

On the plus side, I did manage to get a small punnet of raspberries.  The largest crop yet.

At our annual allotment meeting with the parish council this week, I have paid up for another year of what my husband calls 'slug farming'.  I wish I could argue this one with him, but it is sadly accurate.

Time now to dream great plans, and be prepared for landing a little lower than the moon.

And in other news, I do now have a grownup phone with a camera.  I just need to work out how to get photos from there to here!

Business Goddess Course

I want to be a business person.  I want to bring my gifts out into the world in a joyous and adundant way to support me & my family. I would like to have an online business too.   I am searching and exploring deep stuff at the moment.  What do I want to do.  How do I want to do it.  y'a know that kind of stuff.  And how do you download photos from iphoto onto blogger.

Leonie Dawson has set up a business around a seemingly impossible niche, and proved that you can make good money while still keeping your heart open and creating beauty in the world.

On one of her latest videos she revealed that she has only just got herself a dedicated office space.  I kinda knew that she went to various places to do her blogging & videos etc, but I hadn't realised that was because she had no space!  So she has built a 6 figure online business with the most basic of ingredients, upgrading as her business did.

It shows what is possible and I do find this girl an inspiration.  She just gets on with it and doesn't moan about stuff, or make excuses.  And she keeps turning up.  Consistency seems to be the key that I keep misplacing.  It seems to be my life lesson at the moment!

So, if you are looking for a business course, you could do alot worse than to join us on Leonie's Business Goddess Course.  She really spills the beans about how she does what she does, in useful techie detail too.  Conventional wisdom says 'don't train any potential competitors', but I love the vibe that Leonie and others embody of a deep belief in the beneficence of the universe to support all of us.

You can download the course here, or you can join the Goddess Circle (soooo recommended!) & work through the course with a supportive group of amazing women.  You will also get all of the other courses and meditations she offers.  I am not exaggerating when I say that the Goddess Circle has changed me for the better.

The next run of the Business course starts October 1st 2012.  I will be co-leading it with two awesome goddesses!  Join us! 

Full Disclosure: I am also an affiliate of the Goddess Circle, as well as a circle guide for her there.  So those links are affiliate, where Leonie will give me a wild donkey and a bag of carrots if you join.  Maybe.

Do you come here often?

No I clearly don't do I.  I think about it often, but don't get to show up.

Does any one else partake of imaginary blogging?  I think up interesting posts, deep retrospection, hilarious commentary.  But it never quite makes it on line.  Sorry about that.

Tomorrow I am waiting in all day, as you do, for a delivery.  This delivery is taking me into the 21st Century.  Hopefully I am finally joining it.  With a touch screen phone.  Samsung galaxy ace, with camera.  yay!

Who knows, once we get to know each other, I might be able to take pictures and blog 'em straight away.  Not just imaginary.  Wow.  Imagine that!  Really getting my thoughts out there.

Here's hoping. x

Educational soul searching & naked teachers

Another link for you to listen to a version of Goyte's 'Somebody I used to know'.  I know, I still am a bit obsessed with this.  I seem unable to listen to it just once.  Always going back to it at least twice.

This is a very funny, intellegent parody, without jibing at the original. And it has a naked teacher. Enjoy!

This is particularly relevant to us at the moment, as we are having a big ole time of looking at the educational options for our kids.  Again.  This morning we went round a local high school which is a much closer option for our daughter than the one we are allocated.  And we loved it.  Which is not the path of least resistance & requires some work of applications etc.  But worth gaining nearly an extra hour in her day from reduced travel.

This song really reflected for me my current thoughts/angst around how much I have used my education & what is the best type of education for each of my children.  Made me laugh at it too!

Last gifts of Summer

As usual for this time of the year, I am lingering fingertip to fingertip to summer.  I really try to soak up the last of the warmth, to keep me going through winter.

This week, my children went back to school on different days.  Giving me a whole day with just my daughter.  A rare and welcomed treat.  And treat ourselves we did.  An expensive but expansive trip to our local health food & gift store.  Then, and I am embarrassed to admit that its our first trip this summer,  we made it to the beach at long last.

image courtesy I didn't have my camera. It was even sunnier when we went!

Oh it was so heavenly.  The beach we chose, while a bit further to get to, feels so secluded, even in a built up area.  As we had no pushchair, went down the steep steps to access it.  The dappled shade of the trees gave way to a glorious wide open vista of sea, and expanse of beach.  All to ourselves, with the exception of one couple enjoying the rays.  The sea was sparkling and glittering, and you could see the Needles on the Isle of Wight.  So delightful.  I felt my heart expand and release all the tension I didn't know I was carrying.

Later, when Bini had played in the sea, & I had read to her whilst she was making a sandcastle, we went back to the nearby castle.  She wanted to visit it, so in my expansive mood I agreed to fund a visit.  As if this day couldn't get any better, we get to the entrance & see that it is free today because some of the castle was closed off for a function!  So we got to see an lovely textile & painting exhibition in some of the rooms & try on replica victorian clothes in the great hall.  There was very few people there  so we wandered around pretending to be mistress of the house & servant.  I was the maid if you were wondering!

image credit

All in all, it was a gorgeous end of summer holidays day.  Even Tintin wasn't too upset to have missed it as he had finally got to go fishing with his uncle on his last day of the holidays (he was been wanting to go for a couple of years).  And he caught a fish for his tea.

Love Letter to Head Lice

Dearest Headlice & Nits

Thankyou so much for coming to stay with us.  We have really enjoyed your visit.

Thankyou for allowing the space for me to spend time with my children.  I have loved having their sweet heads in my lap while we watched our family movie, gently going through their heads with the nittygritty comb.  Feeling the warmth from their bodies against my legs while we went through the routine.  And there is a certain perverse pleasure in evicting you!

I would also like to thank you for your special attention to me.  In the process of combing out my hair with half a bottle of conditioner & leaving it in for a while my hair has become more conditioned.  And the fact that you wouldn't leave with the first eviction notice allowed the process to be repeated.  So much so, on my trip the community cafe the other day I was complimented on my glamourous hair more than once!

Well, my nitty friends, its an ill wind that blows no good as my granny used to say.  Thankyou for your visit.  Please feel free to move onto a new destination at your earliest convenience, but it has been a lesson learned.  Thankyou.

Much love

Jacs x

Renaissance, Scanner, Multipotentialte... a Me by any other name

So, I have this problem.  See, I am 'just good' at too many things.  I know, I know it sounds kinda braggy, but let me explain.

Since school I have been a Jacs of all trades and master of none.  I came away from that erstwhile learning establishment with 10 O'levels (yup, I am that old, just before GCSEs) of which 7 were B's.  (2 C's and 1 A if you're interested)  So no clear outstanding areas of expertise.  Pretty adequate really, enough to fly under the radar, not being exceptional either way.

[with the exception of what I considered an anonomoly of English Literature 'A'.  I still don't understand how that happened as I detested my teacher and loathed the concept of over analysing an author's motives.  I just happened to know the texts because I love a damn good story!]

I digress.  Which actually proves my point.  I find it REALLY hard to stick to just one thing.  I am super obsessed with something until I feel I have it, then, oohh bright shiny object over there....

I will often come back to the original passion which is why I need more cupboards.  Does anyone else have this issue?

I would love to start my own business, an enterprise of some kind.  A way to share my gifts with the world.  But what to choose?

I recently read John William's book which mentioned the term 'scanner'.  Suddenly I felt a huge sense of relief that other people needed large closets too for all their interests.  I knew the term Renaissance (wo)Man to define someone like Leonardo da Vinci or a Polymath.  But recently I have heard the term 'renaissance business' where people have made their mark being themselves in all their diversity.  Emilie Wapnick's website Puttylike coins the phrase multipotentialate which she writes about well.

Scanner, Renaissance, Multipotentiale, whatever you call it Doctor, I think I've got it!

Edit: just after writing this post I clicked on my iPod to hear Rise to the Top's interview with Kirsten Casey, who has changed her career a couple of times.  I think I am in love.  Big girl crush!

If anything were possible...

If anything were possible what would you dream for? Asks Jamie Ridler on Wishcrafting wednesday.

Right now, I would dream for me to step into my bigger life.  To don my 'big girl panties' and step into the dream.  To run my own awesome business, to be a rocking mumma & a glorious womanly wife.  To live life out loud.  With fire & passion.  And a bucketload of energy.

What would you dream for?  As you wish for yourself, I wish for you too. x Jacs

Satan has a secretary?

So, I was at the petrol station.  Filling my thirsty car who had been travelling on kisses and a promise.

Looking up I see a man coming towards the same pump.  At first glance I could tell he was a biker, a very pleasant looking one at that, then I spotted the handles of the harley davidson on the other side of the pump.  Over his biking gear he had a waistcoat/jerkin/gillet type thing.  This had badges on.

The top one, obviously denoting his tribe:

SATAN'S SLAYERS...

Then, underneath this, was another one:

SECRETARY.

I was giggling to myself all the way home.  The anarchic hell raisers of the New Forest have organised themselves into a committee.  Which it has to be said, committees are indeed all kinds of hell.

Thankful Thursday 5th July

Today I am grateful for:

• Swimming lesson me-time.  My beloved was home in time to look after the other kids whilst I took Tintin to his lesson & I got to sit in the sun writing.  Yep, the SUN, people.  It put in a truly welcome appearance this afternoon
• Hot baths in this rather wet summer weather.
• Sewing up the hems on my new cargo trousers.  It only took me about 6 months to do this.  Go me!
• Washing dry.  Did I mention that the sun shone?
• Recording meditations on my new computer with the kind loan of a microphone.  So exciting.
• Booking tickets for our summer festival in August
• Finally finished patio, with the new table on it.  It looks fantastic & we sat outside in the sun (yes, I know I mentioned it again.  Its just kinda noteworthy at the moment!) this evening.
• Tintin getting allocated a fantastic teacher for next year.  She rocks!
• Sweet birthday treat for Roo's friend, held at a country park play area.  I hesitate to mention that the sun came out especially.
• Managing to sew up a quick super hero cape for this sweet friend who is now 4.  And seeing him running around in it for the rest of the party.
• Jumble treats on Saturday with my awesome brother.  (No sun, in case you were wondering)

Running in the woods

I have started running.  Yep.  Really.  With running shoes and everything.  I know right.  Isn't that for other people?  Y'a know.  Those people who aren't me.

Turns out it was for me too.  I just needed to find the right way for me.  I bought the shoes a year or so ago at a proper running shop where a serious lean lady had me walk barefoot & bare legged on a treadmill for gait analysis.  A video camera & I have no idea what other technology was aimed in my direction.  I just concentrated in a panicky fashion on staying on the treadmill.  The verdict of this high tech interlude was that I over pronate (or something like that) and needed a certain kind of shoe to correct this pernicious sounding tendency.

The universe was on my side.  The perfect pair was waiting for me with a sale tag on it.

Now although I wasn't committing to running at that point I wanted shoes that made me feel bouncy on the school run (very little actual running involved unless late).  And it worked.  I did find myself more inclined to exercise a bit more when wearing them.

However, despite going out a few times round the village like the other mothers I saw running, some with buggys, some with headphones, it always felt like Work.  Like I was doing something Worthy and  that smug feeling was the motivation & reward.

Then I remembered being 10 years old.  Running cross-country round the footpaths & fields beyond the school.  I even took part in the school competition over 3 or 5 miles & being the first girl back despite being one of the younger ones.

I remembered my awesome PE teacher.  How he taught us to breathe whilst running & changing it to depending on stride & speed.  Mr Johns, a compact ex-military sergeant with a shiny pate & enthusiasm for breaking down tasks into component parts.  He taught us about 6 stages to a forward roll.  I adored him.

Remembering our running lessons, I recalled how much I loved running in nature.  The smell of the mushroom farm, the cut grass of the hay fields, the red poppies at the edges.  Of holding our breaths as we ran (pretty fast at that point!) past the slurry/manure heap on a farm.

With these thoughts in mind, I started running.  First in Cypress with my energetic sister.  Then at home.  But not pounding on the pavements.  Down the tracks in the forestry commission land.  The footpaths with the dog walkers.  Bridleways with the horses.  I didn't get far.  But I did it.

What surprised me most about making this commitment to myself is this.  I LOVE it.  I do.  I bloody love it.  And the secret ingredient.  The headspace and clarity whilst being inspired by the wonderful smell of the morning woods and the sights.

What is your favourite way of exercising outside?

What am I bid?

Last night, Beloved & I went to our first land auction.  There was a piece of land nearby that would have been a wonderful playground.  So we went to Auction.  And Bid.  And Lost.

 image credit

But Oh my goodness how exciting it was!  The small room they held it in was packed to the rafters.  People standing all around the edges as well as at the back.  We went early so had front row seats.  And it did kinda feel like Theatre.

We were in a bidding war ( I hate that term.  how about tennis bidding?) with one other person after it moved away from the ridiculously low come-and-see-me guide price.  We kept inching up & he was straight there with a counter bid.  We moved from comfort zone, to a bit strapped, into soup-bread-and-water-for-next-three-years zone.  At which point we left him to it.  My heart was pounding like a horserace!

As ours was the first lot, we then sat back & relaxed through the next 5 lots.  It was an education!  There was a whole range of human dramas being played out in that tiny room.  People trying to secure the land outside their houses from developers.  Parents wanting land for daughter's pony.  Silver haired investors.  Farmers.  And an awful lot of spectators it seemed that didn't bid.

And all very serious.  I have a real handicap here.  My poker face consists of something like: 'OMG, OMG that's Amazing, look at this, how awesome, I love it. gimme gimme gimme'.  Or: 'oh no I can't believe it who dealt this hand?'  I don't know I would go so far to to call myself a drama queen, but I tend to bubble over somewhat.

So, I can now tick the Auction experience off my list for this year.  I loved it.  Who knows, maybe another potential play land will present itself soon & we get it.  And then you will really see my counter-poker face! OMG Yes!

Untold stories

I am a writer who doesn't write.  How about that?  I am a creative who isn't creating.  How about that?

I read other people's words but don't get my own down on paper or tap them on to the screen.  Not using my pen like a putter fly pin to attach them where they can be seen.  (In this analogy the said butterfly died of natural causes after a long and happy lifestyle with lots of pretty flowers).

I visit other people's studios and admire their work.  But all I have made recently is a laptop bag for this new computer I am lovin'.

I just need to do what Julia Cameron says and show up at the page.   To turn up and create.  And be willing to create badly.  Without censure of 'is it good enough'.

It occurs to me that there a rather too many stories that remain untold.  I met an older gentleman in our community cafe the other day.  Victor is 88 years old, as he told me.  A firecracker of a chap.  And just for a brief moment he told me some of his story, and his advice.  He just happened to mention that he had actually known Lady Baden Powell & been very active in the scout movement, which I found fascinating (she gave him a medal for the help he gave her).  But what moved me most were his words from before.
"I have had a great life.  I've been very lucky.  Well, I had a particularly wonderful life for the 53 years my wife was alive.  We had a lovely life together."

This made me struggle to swallow my coffee cake.  I felt so moved by this positive upbeat man who clearly adored and missed his wife.

The next bit made me choke with laughter though, about his wartime life as a tanks expert.

"Yes, I was injured a bit in the war, but not too bad" (NOTE: I'll spare you details - I would have called it pretty bad!). " I was blown out of a tank.  I was really cross.  I had just fixed it up perfectly."

You gotta love that hutspar attitude!

Oh, and his advice by the way.  To me who he considered young.

"Enjoy life while you are Young."  Simple and to the point.  Just get on with it.  Thankyou Victor.

Goddesses Galore!

Have you met Goddess Leonie yet?  She is an awesome woman!  She's not 30 yet and her life is an amazing inspiration.  A powerhouse.  I re-met her last March.  I had been aware of her several years ago but lost the links on a burned-out computer (along with several months of photos - yep, learnt the hard way to back them up!)
So it was great to find her again on the wish big e-camp.  Her class on the course was creative business generation.  I was kinda mehh about the topic.  I wasn't particularly looking for a business at that time (I had a young toddler as well as 2 kids in First school) as time & energy were a scarce commodity.

Then I watched her videos.  And I fell in love.  Her infectious enthusiasm, laugh and general upbeat attitude just scooped me up.  And I thought Actually Maybe Perhaps I could look into doing a business or something.  (That thought is still bubbling away & hopefully something will present itself soon. )

So I saved up some pennies and joined her Goddess Circle.  I wanted to be in this woman's orbit & other wonderful women.  And oh my goodness,  what a place!  My interest had been piqued by the Business Goddess course she offered, but when I joined it was the Radiant Goddess course that sang to me first.

With a years membership to the most supportive forum I know of, there are also a whole range of courses that Leonie has lovingly created.  I love her meditations especially.  In fact I loved the circle so much I became a Circle Guide for her, to help hold the space as it got larger, and an ambassador.  I hope I am a better circle guide than I am ambassador, as I haven't really written about it too much!

But I thought that now was an important time to tell you.  Because the cost of the circle membership is going up.  I still think it is a good deal for what you get even at the new price of $199 for the whole year, considering all the goodies that you get.

BUT, if you join the circle BEFORE 3rd July, you get it at the early bird discount of just $99 for the whole year.  Seriously, that's about sixty quid for a year of sisterhood!  I joined for the courses but I stayed for the supportive community.

So, I just wanted to let you know, that if you were thinking about joining, DO IT NOW!  Don't you go missing out on this amazing discount!

Join up here (affiliate link disclosure!)

Heya!  I am finally back.  And I have a NEW laptop.  Yippeee.  My very first foray into Apple technology.  So very exciting.  While I am learning how to use it, I thought I'd just send you all lots of love.  I know I have been very absent recently, mainly because I got caught up in my Uplevel your Life course which was Awesome, with a capital A.  But also because our camera got broken in Cypress due to sand getting where it shouldn't.  Not sure what we will be doing about this.  Yet more purchasing?

Any suggestions for the top blogger camera?  Easy to always have in a bag, good pics & monkey/kiddy proof?

Thankful Thursday 19th April 2012

Oh so very grateful today!

• Week 5 of Christine Kane's Uplevel your Life.  This programme is really in depth.  And even when the dirt comes up it feels right for me, right now.
• WISH summit talks interviewed by Tera Warner.  There is some good stuff in this, and its not too late to catch up.  Plus I just picked up a generous freebie from the SARK interview.
• Taking today off after yesterday D&V bug & just chillin' with my small one.
• Getting back into the swing of school days & finding our groove again.  But still with a tan from Cypress!

• A BRAND NEW Sofa!  Oh my goodness yes, we finally made a decision on a three seater at Ikea this weekend.  AND we bought an Expedit bookshelf and now have a new style living room.  Goodness me, our house is starting to look finished.
• My artwork is up on the walls at last, on freshly painted walls.  We had a busy weekend!
• Family movie time on the new sofa yesterday.  We could all fit on it in a nice cuddly way.  So five does go into three.
• Running off-road in the mornings, when possible, is just filling my cup at the moment.  I really look forward to it in a way I just can't muster for pavement running.  I love the bird song, the fresh smell of the air, the trees and wildlife.  And the headspace just for me.
• Watching my kids playing with the cardboard boxes from Ikea & having even more fun with them than I did buying their contents.
• Holiday fun with the kids.  Baking, Kids cinema - Tintin's adventures, making tea with the kelly kettle lit from strikers rather than matches, playing board games.  Good stuff.

I'm back!

I am now back from my holidays in Cypress visiting my lovely sister & family.  More pictures of the actual holiday to follow, rather than this one.  It was a bit warmer out there!

Thankful Thursday 30th March 2012

Today I am grateful for:

• Today I got to attend my son's Easter assembly as he had a speaking part & see his excited fact because he was operating the projector for the song words.  So much more fun for him than his speaking role.
• Sitting alone and catching up with myself at swimming lessons
• Making a kindle cover to go on holiday wiht
• Going to visit my sister in Cypress at Easter.
• So enjoying my Uplevel your Life program with Christine Kane.  She is AWESOME!
• Getting preschool jumpers and labelling them.
• Early nights.
• Early morning walks in spring sunshine on my solitary.  Wonderful headspace time
• My Beloved passing his exam to day & the end of revision/study for a while.
• Stonehenge equinox sunrise last week & meeting up with my brother there.

Me & G & his silly hat (made by himself) pastiche of horned henger

Thankful Thursday - 15th March

A bit late in finally posting this Thankful Thursday.  I spent the evening looking blankly at fabric trying to work out what would go best together to make a pencil roll for my beautiful niece & goddess daughter.

Today I am grateful for:

• Making a start on Goddess Girl's pencil roll. 
• Getting photos taken for the felting tutorial in Bushcraft Magazine.  Just need to edit & send.
• My bonus week on Christine Kane's Uplevel YOur Life course.  Starting in full next Monday.
• Some amazing learning & personal growth on my NLP course this weekend. 
• More clearing out.  Three bags taken to charity shop.  Three plus more to go out this weekend.  Hurrah for Spring Clearing!  It feels soooo good!
• Reading Dr Seuss to Roo, after hearing him 'read' it to himself so sweetly whilst not knowing it, just from the pictures.
• Menu plan sorted for the week.
• Lovely veg in the Abel & Cole box, plus a free bottle of organic olive oil.  Thanks guys!
• Catching up with friend yesterday at toddler group & our boys just loving playing together.
• My Beloved having the kids all weekend daytime so I could go off & do my thing at the NLP course.  House was a devastation zone on return which interestingly made me feel less guilty about my inability to keep a tidy house!
• Sunny afternoons this week.  And time down the allotment.  yum.

Thankful Thursday 8th March 2012

Today I am grateful for:

• Tea in the morning in bed with my Beloved.
• Running commentary from my 3yr old as he plays his games.
• Sunshine!
• Finally booking myself onto Christine Kane's Uplevel Your Life program.
• This resistant cough finally shifting & feeling alot better
• Helping my little girl work through an issue she is having with her friend, using some of my NLP tools I have been learning.   Yay, this stuff works!
• My car always starting first time.  I know its time to change her, as my kids are growing & need different seating, but I love her turquoisey goodness!
• New funky mugs at such a cheap cost.  Love my mugs!
• Enjoying my self-love altar on my window sill.
• Three bags of eliminated stuff to go to charity shop
• Such a clean clean bathroom.  The energy there just feels so sparkly.  I want my whole life to feel like that.

Wishcrafting - Spirit Wishes

What is your Spirit wishing for?  Jamie Ridler asks today on wishcrafting wednesday.

Usually I try to write my response to the prompts before looking at everyone elses.   But today, I sneeked a peek at my friend Dominees post.  If you haven't met Dominee yet, you should ( I nominated her for this award a while back).  She is Beautiful.  Her post was so very lovely about how previously she'd have said 'purpose', which was exactly what my reaction was, but now she feels that she has that with her awesome website and writing her truth out into the world as a beacon (my words not hers). 

In reading her words, and checking out another post that she referenced about body image & how we can get knocked back by ignorant words, I felt sad and glad all at once.  So very Glad for my beautiful Goddess sister that she has found this wonderous place, and sad for myself that I am still sometimes beating myself up for not having my soul purpose. 

And I realised, as I was spring cleaning the bathroom, going round the dirty edges with a toothbrush (don't worry it wasn't anyone's you know.  Seriously, t'was the cleaning one) really doing a deep clean, that what my Spirit is wishing for is EXPRESSION. 
In that moment, of whatever I am doing.  I get too hung up on some grand notion of Purpose.  Which actually stops me from expressing my spirit into the world, as I get caught up in a web of shoulds.  My spirit wishes to express the joyful shalls, & leave the shoulds at the gate.

And just expressively sparkle my spirit into the world

Am I obsessive?

OK, so a question.  Is it obsessive to have watched this at least ten times tonight?  Sheesh.  It is so totally awesome.  I kinda knew the song, but with the video.  Well, its hypnotic!  Goyte & Kimba rock!  Who knew I might like modern music.

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8UVNT4wvIGY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

EDIT: Grrr!  I can't seem to embed that video here.  Its obviously too late & I have been obsessively watching/listening to this video!  Go watch it via the link.  You won't regret it.  Well, I hope not, but if you do at least its only 4 minutes long! x

Thankful Thursday - 1st March

Today I am grateful for:

• An extra leap day yesterday.  Spent on myself.  A run in the woods, tea with friend, evening with my lovely HEArters creating a shrine of love to ourselves.
• Chai
• Most delish apples in my veggie box
• Sunshine & reading in the conservatory
• Baby boy loving putting his face in the water whilst swimming
• Weekend in the Dreaming Spires (Oxford)
• Ice skating for our friends daughter's 10th birthday
• The most beautiful & unexpectedly loving hug goodbye from his son.  So touched.
• Writing in our cafe & meeting an 88 year old war veteran.  'Yes, I was blown out of a tank.  I'd just fixed it too'.
• Roo & his mate playing together at playgroup.  They just love each other!

Wishcrafting Wednesday - Fierce

Jamie Ridler asks today:

Where do you wish to be fierce?

Wow, what a question!  It made me laugh a little, because as women we aren't encouraged much to be fierce.  So my initial, initial reaction was to giggle slightly in a 'gosh, are we allowed to? kind of way'.  Oh yes, we are allowed to.  We have permission to be fierce when we choose to, or need to.

I wish to be fierce to protect that which is precious to me.  I do not expect you to understand why it is important to me.  You just need to back to hell off, so I can get on with it.  Not YOU, obviously.  You totally get it, I know that.  Y'a know.  THEM you.

I will be fierce about MY time, and my family.  I will start off hissing like a cat, just to warn.  But be warned.  I can and will pounce if called to!

Yay for fierce.  Feisty is fun!

As you wonderful souls wish for yourself, I wish for you too.  Where do you wish to be fierce?

Thankful Thursday. 23rd Feb 2012

Today I am grateful for:

• Half term resting, last week
• Pulling off a brilliant 8yr old birthday party on Sunday.
• Help from my mother & my bestie to make the party run smoothly
• One happy eight year old boy with his pressie haul!
• Home-made bread rolls yesterday
• An empty laundry box.  It happens briefly, so when it does it needs to be rejoiced!
• A couple of free hours this morning to have a meditation & deep sleep.  Soooo needed it today.
• Omg, omg, flights booked to Cypress to see my lovely sister next month.  Wheeeeee!
• A couple of Jumble sales on Saturday.  So good to get a rummage in.  Managed to find a few jems for creating art with.  And a naval officers jacket.  Just because.
• My cough retreating into the background & breathing freely again. 

Wishcrafting Wednesday - spending time

Jamie Ridler's prompt today on Wishcrafting Wednesday is very timely.  Literally & figuratively.  Last night I lay awake, for some reason, going through my ideal day working for my wonderful (yet to be discovered) business.  Imagining in some detail how that would look.

So I smiled when I saw the prompt: How do you wish to spend your time?

I wrote a long breakdown of an ideal day.  I will not bore you with it all.  But it starts and ends with cuddles.  The middle bits include lots of nutritious juices & good food.  Fun exercise outside.  Tea & technology.  Studio time.  Allotment time.  Meditation.  Sharing & playing time with the kids.  And connecting with lovely people.

I intend to pin those 2 pages up on my wall.  I can totally live my ideal day.  I have all the component parts.  I am the creator, the engineer who can put all the pieces together.  I can do this.  Its just a case of remembering...

What about you?  How do you wish to spend your time?  As you wish for yourself, I wish for you too. x

Thankful Thursday 16th Feb

Today I am grateful for:

• Half-Term holidays!  I love not having to do the school runs & just let the kids chill out abit.  It can take them a bit of time to get used to the pace of not having everything laid on but I like that they need to remember how to entertain themselves.  Mummy, I am bored soon turns into some fun games & creative endeavours.  Such sweet games played together too.
• Party preparations.  Tintin is having his 8th Birthday party on Sunday & we have alot of kids coming.  Bracing myself for 2+ hours of high octane energy.  I think with our own kids its going to be about 20.  Eeek.  We are lovin the prepping & planning.  Hope they aren't too over excited to enjoy it.
• My studio becoming the hub of creativity other than my own.  Some sock doll aliens are going to be given as prizes on Sunday...
• Our community cafe.  A lovely place to hang out in our holidays & have home-made cakes.
• Snowdrops
• A free veggie box today.  Gotta love the marketing from Abel & Cole.
• Mum giving me a new Gillet (waistcoat) that is just perfect for working down the the Allotment.  It even has zip pockets to make sure I don't loose my car keys in the soil.
• Our wonderful library service.  And we straddle two counties so have twice as many resources at our disposal.  Half-term has been full of books and story tapes.
• Still loving our new dishwasher.  Clear up is sooo easy now!
• My NLP course with Sarah Frossell this past weekend.  So much stuff to learn with such lovely people.

What are you grateful for today?  See if you can find ten things to make your heart sing. I'd love to see your lists!   Even just one thing that makes you smile, well, it sets the facial lines in the right direction!   xxx

'Just a Mum'?

What is it about the role of Mothers in our society?  I swing from feeling like I am doing the most important job in the world, to feeling like I am missing out on some part of my life.  I need to say at the outset here, that I absolutely LOVE and adore all three of my children.  They are truly precious to me.  I am so very grateful to be their mother, and to have been able to enjoy their early years without having to dash off to work. 

I have been an At Home Mother (AHM) for a decade now.  My daughter turned ten last month.  And I fully realised that I had been AHMing for that long.  The longest I have ever held any 'job'.  And in the last year or so I have started to feel that I need something else too.  Something to sing to me.  Not just being mummy, which although I love it, is only one facet of me. 

I have other gifts to bring to the world.  Surely?  Don't I?  They just feel swamped by a mountain of laundry, a lake of washing up, school letters & requests, homework, and that's on top of the really important job of cuddles & listening.

Right now, I can feel like 'I' is emerging, painfully slowly, blinking into the light of expanding awareness.  I know that I can be more than 'just a mum'.  I can be so very much more & brilliant.  Not in a Super-mum nonsense sort of way, trying to be all things to all people & racing myself into a breakdown.  But in an expansive, authentic whole of joyous living.  I know I can.  I know I can.  I know I can.

Thankful Thursday -

Today I am grateful for:

• Our NHS (National Health Service):  Little boy Roo managed to cut his head today.  Oh boy, don't head wounds bleed in a scary way!  Luckily we managed to just go to the GP surgery where two delightful women glued his head back together!  It was actually quite a small cut, just a good bleeder!
• Reading books with Roo tonight & knowing that he wasn't in any way suffering from long term damage!
• Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles at bedtime.  Three sweet soft snuggly children.
• Facilitating the Business Course on Leonie's Goddess Circle.  What an amazing circle of women.  I love it.  In fact, if you wonder where I am in cyberland, thats where I hang, baby.
• Creating my first pdf gratitude booklet for a download.  Learning how to upload it here as a freebie is the next step!
• Cleaning the house today, in advance of a potential snowday.  Fingers crossed we get some of the white stuff that everyone else is getting.
• Abel & Cole Veggie box, that actually listen to my family's distrust of any celery tasting veg!  This is my 3rd box today, & I am very impressed with it all.  The milk is delish!
• A drop dead awesome husband.  Not only does he earn enough to support our little family, he can ( & did) change his office clothes to pull up floor boards searching for the source of water coming through the ceiling.  A few hours later, all fixed & sorted.   What can I say.  He ROCKS!  Did I mention he's also a hottie?



oh yes, and we rather tragically have managed to buy matching waterproof jackets.  sheesh.

• Tidying out the studio.  Getting some arting done.  Soooo theraputic.
• Taking the kids to a fun-club at the local community centre at the weekend.  Got to go inside a planatarium which was really cool.  And then, oh I was so excited, I discovered that one of the other mothers was my favourite member of staff that I recruited back in another life before kids.  She was gorgeous then, and (the reason I didn't recognise her straight away) lost a bunch of weight, and is still utterly gorgeous now.  So wonderful to find such a beautiful soul again.

WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR?  Join in the love!

(I would have put a linky thing in if I could work out how to use it!  Feel free to post your grateful lovin' in the comments!)

OK. So I am a day late with Thankful Thursday, but none the less Grateful.

• I love my family!
• So grateful for two birthdays in one week.   Mine & my sweet boy's today.
• Our new 8 year old having a lovely lovely day.  And his new girl friend came round for tea.
• Watching Tintin & Nunu skipping home together holding hands.
• A fabulous evening with my lovely HEArter group painting our Word of the Year.
• A full fridge before the possible snow arrives
• Goddess Circle.  Doing the Business Goddess course.  AWESOME.  Just sayin'.
• A clean house.  Hurrah.
• Sweet cuddles with my kids tonight.
• Beautiful new mugs.  so pretty!

My very first Blog award!

Well, my friend Karen at http://makeitsaveitmendit.wordpress.com/ has awarded me my very first Blog award.  A Versatile Blogger Award. Whoooho!  Thanks Karen!

So my exciting task, as I understand it,  is to pass this one on to seven other blogsters that I love.  Big smiley face!
Little Green Shed http://littlegreenshed.blogspot.com/
Magic Beans  http://sparklymagicbeans.blogspot.com/
Bears Footprint http://bearsfootprints.blogspot.com/
Bristol Parenting Cafe http://bristolparentingcafe.blogspot.com/
Flour Child http://flourchildren.blogspot.com/
A quiet corner http://a-quiet-corner.blogspot.com/
Blessing Manifesting http://blessingmanifesting.blogspot.com/

And to also tell you seven things about myself:

1. I used to be able to bring my feet behind my back to my ears & pretend my foot was a phone.  Freaked my family out a treat, especially my brother.   Teehee.
2. Which brings me to my crowning glory.  I was a County Gymnastics Champion when I was 14.  Its all gone downhill since!
3. I met my beloved husband in a backpackers in Sydney, Australia. 
4. I love love love Christmas.  Especially fairy lights
5. I worked a ski chalet in France & learnt to snowboard.  It hurt.
6. Everyone always thinks I am a vegetarian.  I can do veggie cooking but I do eat meat.
7. I lived in an alternative community for 3 years in my 20s.  It was both hard work & awesome.

Thankyou Karen.  That was fun!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am grateful for:

• Standing in my power and starting to claim my authentic voice .
• Downloading the bonus day from Goddess Leonie's Worlds Biggest Summit.  With SARK.  whoohoo!
• That I got all my housework done.  Go me!
• My allotment looking happy for all my attention this week.
• Being able to help a friend out when she needed me to.
• Lovely new veg & fruit box from Abel & Cole,  with grapes.  mmmmmmm
• Sunshine on a cold day.
• Cuddling with Roo & reading his story, at least three times, in the warm sunny conservatory.
• Pretty new mugs for my tea.
• Feeling part of a community.

and so to sleep...

What is it with me at the moment?  A sleep filled night would be rather lovely.  I haven't slept well for a few nights and then...

Last night I spent from 1a.m. till 5 a.m. in a toddler bed with my 3 year old turning my face towards him ('I need to guddle you mummy') rather than allowing me to sleep how I needed to actually fit into said toddler bed.  More than once I gave thanks for only being 5ft!  My best hours sleep were between 5am to 7.30am.  Really.  I am getting to old for this. 

And so to sleep, perchance to dream.

Wishcrafting Wednesday - Reclaiming

Today, at Jamie Ridler's Wishcrafting, she asks

What do you wish to Reclaim?

I would like to reclaim my Power this year.  I have a tendency to give it away.  It's mine.  I want it back.  I am the best person to do anything with it.

I wish to reclaim who I am.

I also want to reclaim my camera.  I found these images on today in downloading my pictures.  Methinks I didn't take them!

A Joyous New Year to you!

I hope you got everything you wished for.  Even if it was masking tape in your stocking.

I got to spend a solstice sunrise morning with my beautiful girl who turned 10 at the beginning of the week.  Lots of walks with the family.  Lovely quiet christmas & new year.

And after a very reflective holiday now it is time to move on in to the shiny bright New Year. 

I hope you had a wonderful wonderful time.  Here's to a gorgeous New Year.